The devil inside me

Deep in the darkness of the Night.

You take over my life and hold me tight.

The clock ticks like the beating of a drum.

Id give anything to be laying comfortably numb.

The birds tweet and sing there beautiful song.

I'm still lying awake trying to be strong.

Upwards and onwards I face the day like a clown.

In reality I just want to break down.

I hide behind humor a smile and a mask.

Hiding this from everyone is no easy task.

Everyday life can be so very hard.

For deep inside I'm physically scarred.

The carefree happy days set me flying free.

The frustration mounts when i'm knocked back to reality.

No reason no rhyme.

What will be will be.

I'm just a slave to the devil inside me.

I look just like you through everyone's eyes.

For this devil inside me wears a cunning disguise.

I could be the one walking past you in the street.

Dog-tired and weary but proud of this feat.

Painkillers and sleep are my Best Friend.

Silently wishing my body would mend.

Days spent fruitlessly watching the world go by.

Curled up helplessly wanting to cry.

Resting at Home is my only safe place.

My old life is vanishing without a trace.

Reminders of easier times taunt my soul.

Fighting fatigue and pain is now my daily goal.

The carefree happy days set me flying free.

The frustration mounts when i'm knocked back to reality.

No reason no rhyme.

What will be will be.

Im just a slave to the devil inside me.

My wonderful Family shine light when its dark.

It makes it easier to cope with an ill thought remark.

People dont understand the daily pain I face.

I wonder how many would cope with it if in my place.

I am strong and will hold my head up high.

Society I face with a huge angry sigh.

What people cant see they don't understand.

Please educate yourself everyone is my only demand.

I have an illness which sadly has no cure.

So till one is found the pain I will endure.

I will fight on with my Sisters by my side.

This isn't our fault so why should we hide.

The carefree happy days set me flying free.

The frustration mounts when i'm knocked back to reality.

No reason no rhyme.

What will be will be.

I'm just a slave to the devil inside me.

PS: I have Endometriosis. I don't look ill as you cant see inside me. I will smile to hold back the pain. I will laugh to hold back the tears. I will find humor in my life. I won't grumble about petty things. I will be the person who lets you down socially. But treasure my Family more than most. 

Endometriosis is a chronic gynecological disease that, among other symptoms, results in life-altering pain. This disease is a leading cause of infertility, and significantly increases a woman’s risk of developing certain cancers. There is no cure for endometriosis. The disease affects anywhere from 10-20% of the female population, yet very few of us are even aware that it exists. As a result, women suffer alone and in silence. Diagnostic delays may last for up to ten years while women continue to suffer and the disease worsens. Early diagnosis is essential in at least lessening some of the symptoms of this disease, but women cannot seek appropriate care if they are not aware.

PPS: I may be your Friend... Daughter... Mother... Wife... Sister... Auntie... Or Cousin... But I will be misunderstood by many people.