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You are your most important critic. There is no opinion so vitally important to your well being as the opinion you have of yourself. As you read this you’re talking to yourself right now. “Let’s see if I understand what he means by that… How does that compare with my experiences? – I’ll make note of that – try that tomorrow – I already knew that…I already do that.” I believe this self-talk, this psycholinguistics or language of the mind can be controlled to work for us, especially in the building of self-confidence and creativity. We’re all talking to ourselves every moment of our lives, except during certain portions of our sleeping cycle. We’re seldom even aware that we’re doing it. We all have a running commentary in our heads on events and our reactions to them.
• Be aware of the silent conversation you have with yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic? Do you reinforce your own success or negate it? Are you comfortable saying to yourself, “That’s more like it”. “Now we’re in the groove.” “Things are working out well.” “I am reaching my financial goals.” “I’ll do it better next time.”
• When winners fail, they view it as a temporary inconvenience, a learning experience, an isolated event, and a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.
• When winners succeed, they reinforce that success, by feeling rewarded rather than guilty about the achievement and the applause.
• When winners are paid a compliment, they simply respond: “Thank you.” They accept value graciously when it is paid. They pay value in their conversations with themselves and with other people.
A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the ability to spend time alone, without constantly needing other people around. Being comfortable and enjoying solitary time reveals inner peace and centering. People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be propped up by the company of others.
Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When introducing yourself in any new association, take the initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly; and always extend your hand first, looking the person in the eyes when you speak.
In your telephone communications at work or at home, answer the telephone pleasantly, immediately giving your own name to the caller, before you ask who’s calling. Whenever you initiate a call, always give your own name up front, before you ask for the party you want and before you state your business. Leading with your own name underscores that a person of value is making the call.
Don’t brag. People who trumpet their exploits and shout for service are actually calling for help. The showoffs, braggarts and blowhards are desperate for attention.
Don’t tell your problems to people, unless they’re directly involved with the solutions. And don’t make excuses. Successful people seek those who look and sound like success. Always talk affirmatively about the progress you are trying to make.
As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind, become a master mime, and learn all you can about how he or she succeeded. This is especially true with things you fear. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from him or her.
When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to success, and view ridicule as ignorance. After a rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for Blessings. Things you are endowed with that you often take for granted like life itself, health, living in an abundant country, family, friends, career. A is for accomplishments. Think of the many things you are proud of that you have done so far. And G is for Goals. Think of your big dreams and plans for the future that motivate you. If you took your BAG – blessings, accomplishments and goals – to a party, and spread them on the floor, in comparison to all your friends and the people you admire, you’d take your own bag home, realizing that you have as much going for yourself as anyone else. Always view rejection as part of one performance, not as a turn down of the performer.
Action Idea: Go for one entire day and night without saying anything negative to yourself or to others. Make a game of it. If a friend or colleague catches you saying something negative, you must put fifty cents in a drawer or container toward a dinner or evening out with that person. Do this for one month and see who has had to pay the most money toward the evening.
Do you remember when you were a child and no dream seemed too big? Some of us thought we would walk on the moon; some dreamed of riding with Roy Rogers; others imagined stepping to the plate in a big-league game. Every one of us, when we were young, had a common trait: we were dreamers. The world hadn't gotten to us yet to show us that we couldn't possibly achieve what our hearts longed for. And we were yet still years from realizing that in some cases we weren't built for achieving our dream ( I realized about my junior year of school that I was too short and too small to play Basketball, The dreamer is always the last to know).
Eventually we started to let our dreams die. People began to tell us that we couldn't do the things we wanted. It was impossible. Responsible people don't pursue their dreams. Settle down, get a job, be dependable. Take care of business, live the mundane, be content.
Do you know what I say to that? Hooey!
It is time to dream again!
Why? Here are just a few reasons:
* Avoid regret. The facts are in, and someday we will all lie on our deathbed looking back through the history of our lives. We will undoubtedly think about what we wished we had done or accomplished. I for one don't want to regret what could have been, what should have been. So I am deciding today to pursue my dreams.
* The world needs people like you to dream of something great and then to pursue it with all of your heart. Maybe you belong to a business, school or organization that started out with good intentions but has settled into the same ol' same ol'. Shake them up and remind them of how they could really help people if only they would dream!
* Personal and family fulfillment. One of the things that happens when we stop pursuing our dreams is that a little piece of us dies and we become disheartened, if only in that area of our lives. Stepping up and pursuing your dream rekindles that passion and zeal that everyone has the capacity for and lets us experience fulfillment. Having a purpose puts the zip in our step and the zing in our emotions!
* Making the world a better place. All of the great accomplishments that have ever happened began with a person who had a dream. Somebody rebuffed the naysayers and said to himself or herself, "This can be done, and I am the one who will do it." And in many instances they changed the world for the better. It isn't just the Martin Luther King's and the J.F.K's either. Think of all the people we have never heard of who have started things large and small that help people worldwide every day.
* Leaving a legacy. How will your children remember you? As one who sought all that life had to offer, using your gifts and talents to their fullest extent, leading the family with a zest for life, or as an overweight couch potato who could have been? Our children need to see that we dream; that we search for something better. They in turn will do the same!
So where do we start? Here are some ideas:
* Reconnect with your dream. Set aside some time to let yourself dream. What have you placed on the backburner in order to live the status quo? Settle on one or two dreams that you can and will pursue. Don't come up with too many. That will only deter you further.
* Decide that you will do it. This may seem elementary but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep "thinking" about it. Tell others that you are going to do it. This puts you on the record as to what you are dreaming about. It makes you accountable. It will help you do it if for no other reason than to avoid embarrassment!
* Develop a step-by-step plan. This is absolutely essential. You must sit down and write out a few things:
* A timeline. How long will it take to the end?
* Action steps. Point-by-point what you will do and when you will do them.
* Resources you will need to draw from. What will it take? Who will need to be involved for help or advice?
* An evaluation tool. You need to evaluate from time to time whether you are progressing or not.
* A celebration. Yep, when you are done you should already have planned what you will do to celebrate. Make it big!
I have found that there is no better time than now. So, set aside some time today to get started on your dream. Follow the action plan and set your sights for the top of the mountain! You will be glad you did!
(I remember my junior year of school that I dreamed to become a Radio Presenter, and after my Secondary Education i got the chance to work at a radio station as a journalist. within a year i became an RJ and my dream came true, now i wish i dreamed real big, something bigger than just becoming an RJ)
I never expected to hold the great mirror of truth up before the world; I dreamed only of being a little pocket mirror, the sort that a woman can carry in her purse; one that reflects small blemishes, and some great beauties, when held close enough to the heart.
Pages
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Most Important Meetings You’ll Ever Attend Are the Meetings You Have With Yourself
You are your most important critic. There is no opinion so vitally important to your well being as the opinion you have of yourself. As you read this you’re talking to yourself right now. “Let’s see if I understand what he means by that… How does that compare with my experiences? – I’ll make note of that – try that tomorrow – I already knew that…I already do that.” I believe this self-talk, this psycholinguistics or language of the mind can be controlled to work for us, especially in the building of self-confidence and creativity. We’re all talking to ourselves every moment of our lives, except during certain portions of our sleeping cycle. We’re seldom even aware that we’re doing it. We all have a running commentary in our heads on events and our reactions to them.
• Be aware of the silent conversation you have with yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic? Do you reinforce your own success or negate it? Are you comfortable saying to yourself, “That’s more like it”. “Now we’re in the groove.” “Things are working out well.” “I am reaching my financial goals.” “I’ll do it better next time.”
• When winners fail, they view it as a temporary inconvenience, a learning experience, an isolated event, and a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.
• When winners succeed, they reinforce that success, by feeling rewarded rather than guilty about the achievement and the applause.
• When winners are paid a compliment, they simply respond: “Thank you.” They accept value graciously when it is paid. They pay value in their conversations with themselves and with other people.
A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the ability to spend time alone, without constantly needing other people around. Being comfortable and enjoying solitary time reveals inner peace and centering. People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be propped up by the company of others.
Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When introducing yourself in any new association, take the initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly; and always extend your hand first, looking the person in the eyes when you speak.
In your telephone communications at work or at home, answer the telephone pleasantly, immediately giving your own name to the caller, before you ask who’s calling. Whenever you initiate a call, always give your own name up front, before you ask for the party you want and before you state your business. Leading with your own name underscores that a person of value is making the call.
Don’t brag. People who trumpet their exploits and shout for service are actually calling for help. The showoffs, braggarts and blowhards are desperate for attention.
Don’t tell your problems to people, unless they’re directly involved with the solutions. And don’t make excuses. Successful people seek those who look and sound like success. Always talk affirmatively about the progress you are trying to make.
As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind, become a master mime, and learn all you can about how he or she succeeded. This is especially true with things you fear. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from him or her.
When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to success, and view ridicule as ignorance. After a rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for Blessings. Things you are endowed with that you often take for granted like life itself, health, living in an abundant country, family, friends, career. A is for accomplishments. Think of the many things you are proud of that you have done so far. And G is for Goals. Think of your big dreams and plans for the future that motivate you. If you took your BAG – blessings, accomplishments and goals – to a party, and spread them on the floor, in comparison to all your friends and the people you admire, you’d take your own bag home, realizing that you have as much going for yourself as anyone else. Always view rejection as part of one performance, not as a turn down of the performer.
Action Idea: Go for one entire day and night without saying anything negative to yourself or to others. Make a game of it. If a friend or colleague catches you saying something negative, you must put fifty cents in a drawer or container toward a dinner or evening out with that person. Do this for one month and see who has had to pay the most money toward the evening.
Advice to Young Girls
The next generation of women are bombarded with so much pressure from the media and their peers. More than ever before, they need positive messages from healthy role models.
You Are Powerful
"The message I would most want to instill is: you are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are." — Melissa Etheridge
You Are Unique
"That each of them is already a unique and valuable person when she's born; every human being is." — Gloria Steinem
You Are Courageous
"Courage. Also, I encourage courtesy—to accept nothing less than courtesy and to give nothing less than courtesy. If we accept being talked to any kind of a way, then we are telling ourselves we are not quite worth the best. And if we have the effrontery to talk to anybody with less than courtesy, we tell ourselves and the world we are not very intelligent." — Maya Angelou
You Are Good Enough
"We need to help them really internalize the message that good enough is good enough. We don’t need to be perfect. We're not supposed to be perfect; we're supposed to be complete. And you can’t be complete if you're trying to be perfect." — Jane Fonda
You Are Worthy
"That they're beautiful. That they are so important and worthy, and that they need to safeguard themselves from the messages that are out there. That our society, for the most part, when it deals with or talks about women's bodies is wrong. That you don't have to be a size zero. You don’t have to look like a 'Gossip Girl' to be beautiful. That you don’t have to be like one of these bone-skinny actresses. You can be, if that’s how you naturally are, but you don’t have to strive for that. That they're all beautiful, and that any woman has the right to be beautiful and that you can claim this for yourself." — Margaret Cho
You Are a Visionary
"I just want to awaken [young girls] to know how much power they have. I know it sounds cliché, but I want them to know just the power of vision—because if you can see it, you can get there. I think a lot of times a lot of people are lost: they just don’t believe they can do it. And if you just make one step toward it, you can. Just envision that person you would want to be." —Charreah Jackson
You Are Intuitive
"Don't doubt… Don't doubt what you know." — Kerry Washington
You Have a Voice
"When I worked with students in high schools, I advised them to learn to argue well and not be afraid of confrontations, not be afraid to disagree. If some guy or teacher is not treating you well, you have a right to speak up! You don’t have to lock it away. You don't have to pretend it doesn’t hurt. But you have to speak up in a way that is powerful. Write it down, practice, rehearse your lines if you need to, but please say something! Because if you don't, twenty years later you will still be thinking about it: 'Well, I should have said this to him.' I think we all have those experiences, and hopefully we have less of them now." — Loung Ung
Celebrity Depression Heros
Abraham Lincoln U.S. president, known to suffer from bouts of depression, wrote this in a letter to a friend: "A tendency to melancholy... is a misfortune, not a fault."
Rosie O’Donnell says she uses inversion therapy—where she hangs upside down to stimulate her brain’s neurotransmitters—to treat her depression.
Craig Ferguson late-night comedian has often spoken publicly about his alcoholism and related depression
Art Buchwald, Mike Wallace, and William Styron three famous writers—all depressives—jokingly referred to themselves as "The Blues Brothers?" Jennifer Garner young celeb has not spoken publicly about bouts of depression.
Brooke Shields, well-known for her depression activism, said, "I just felt as though I would never be happy again, and as if I had fallen into a big black hole."
Courtney Cox-Arquette, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Brooke Shields all have experienced Postpartum depression
Charlie Brown (by Lucy) famous fictional character was told "Snap out of it" by a less-than-sympathetic friend when he said, "I have deep feelings of depression."
Rosie O’Donnell says she uses inversion therapy—where she hangs upside down to stimulate her brain’s neurotransmitters—to treat her depression.
Craig Ferguson late-night comedian has often spoken publicly about his alcoholism and related depression
Brooke Shields, well-known for her depression activism, said, "I just felt as though I would never be happy again, and as if I had fallen into a big black hole."
Courtney Cox-Arquette, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Brooke Shields all have experienced Postpartum depression
Charlie Brown (by Lucy) famous fictional character was told "Snap out of it" by a less-than-sympathetic friend when he said, "I have deep feelings of depression."
Friday, March 18, 2011
Chase your Dreams and Expand it
Do you remember when you were a child and no dream seemed too big? Some of us thought we would walk on the moon; some dreamed of riding with Roy Rogers; others imagined stepping to the plate in a big-league game. Every one of us, when we were young, had a common trait: we were dreamers. The world hadn't gotten to us yet to show us that we couldn't possibly achieve what our hearts longed for. And we were yet still years from realizing that in some cases we weren't built for achieving our dream ( I realized about my junior year of school that I was too short and too small to play Basketball, The dreamer is always the last to know).
Eventually we started to let our dreams die. People began to tell us that we couldn't do the things we wanted. It was impossible. Responsible people don't pursue their dreams. Settle down, get a job, be dependable. Take care of business, live the mundane, be content.
Do you know what I say to that? Hooey!
It is time to dream again!
Why? Here are just a few reasons:
* Avoid regret. The facts are in, and someday we will all lie on our deathbed looking back through the history of our lives. We will undoubtedly think about what we wished we had done or accomplished. I for one don't want to regret what could have been, what should have been. So I am deciding today to pursue my dreams.
* The world needs people like you to dream of something great and then to pursue it with all of your heart. Maybe you belong to a business, school or organization that started out with good intentions but has settled into the same ol' same ol'. Shake them up and remind them of how they could really help people if only they would dream!
* Personal and family fulfillment. One of the things that happens when we stop pursuing our dreams is that a little piece of us dies and we become disheartened, if only in that area of our lives. Stepping up and pursuing your dream rekindles that passion and zeal that everyone has the capacity for and lets us experience fulfillment. Having a purpose puts the zip in our step and the zing in our emotions!
* Making the world a better place. All of the great accomplishments that have ever happened began with a person who had a dream. Somebody rebuffed the naysayers and said to himself or herself, "This can be done, and I am the one who will do it." And in many instances they changed the world for the better. It isn't just the Martin Luther King's and the J.F.K's either. Think of all the people we have never heard of who have started things large and small that help people worldwide every day.
* Leaving a legacy. How will your children remember you? As one who sought all that life had to offer, using your gifts and talents to their fullest extent, leading the family with a zest for life, or as an overweight couch potato who could have been? Our children need to see that we dream; that we search for something better. They in turn will do the same!
So where do we start? Here are some ideas:
* Reconnect with your dream. Set aside some time to let yourself dream. What have you placed on the backburner in order to live the status quo? Settle on one or two dreams that you can and will pursue. Don't come up with too many. That will only deter you further.
* Decide that you will do it. This may seem elementary but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep "thinking" about it. Tell others that you are going to do it. This puts you on the record as to what you are dreaming about. It makes you accountable. It will help you do it if for no other reason than to avoid embarrassment!
* Develop a step-by-step plan. This is absolutely essential. You must sit down and write out a few things:
* A timeline. How long will it take to the end?
* Action steps. Point-by-point what you will do and when you will do them.
* Resources you will need to draw from. What will it take? Who will need to be involved for help or advice?
* An evaluation tool. You need to evaluate from time to time whether you are progressing or not.
* A celebration. Yep, when you are done you should already have planned what you will do to celebrate. Make it big!
I have found that there is no better time than now. So, set aside some time today to get started on your dream. Follow the action plan and set your sights for the top of the mountain! You will be glad you did!
(I remember my junior year of school that I dreamed to become a Radio Presenter, and after my Secondary Education i got the chance to work at a radio station as a journalist. within a year i became an RJ and my dream came true, now i wish i dreamed real big, something bigger than just becoming an RJ)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
My Addiction
What's your addiction? Is it Face book? twitter? Painkillers? or Red bull?
I've been afflicted by not one, not two, but all…
I've been afflicted by not one, not two, but all…
Painkillers and injections: this gives me strength n courage’s to be active, just can’t live without that.
Twitter: twitter helps me to express my feelings. Daily tweets keep lots of bad n sweet memories. Share and discover what’s happening right now, anywhere in the world.
Facebook: Facebook “ROCKS!” Have got loads of friends there n dint get a chance to feel lonely o just get so busy if I got online. I love to disturb others by commenting on there stuffs
Red bull: Energy boosting machine, just don’t have to eat, can survive with cans of Red bull... It gives me wings to fly...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Saying Yes To Children
In this day when we talk about child protection.. time constraints make it easier for us to automatically respond with a "no" when our children ask for little things. Solution: In an article published in BETTER FAMILIES, Dr. Kay Kuzma offers some practical approaches we can use. She suggests we can say "yes" on many occasions, and it's more effective because it also teaches valuable lessons.
For example, your child might ask, "Am I going to get to watch my favorite television show tonight?" You have a chance to say, "Yes, as soon as you have dried the dishes and put them away," or "Yes, as soon as you have called Raai and apologized for your behavior this afternoon."
This approach changes you in the child's eyes from being a person who wants to deny him or her a pleasure to a parent who is interested in helping the child perform in a better, more mature way.
Your teenager might ask to use the car to run a few errands. You can say, "Yes, as soon as you wash it and if you will stop by the service station and fill it with gas on your way home." This way you're teaching your child responsibility.
Dr. Kuzma also points out that when a child asks, "May I have dessert?" you can say, "Yes, as soon as you have finished your salad or vegetables." This way you are attaching a small reward to a fulfilled responsibility. The child ends up with the temporary pleasure and some long-term benefits.
For example, your child might ask, "Am I going to get to watch my favorite television show tonight?" You have a chance to say, "Yes, as soon as you have dried the dishes and put them away," or "Yes, as soon as you have called Raai and apologized for your behavior this afternoon."
This approach changes you in the child's eyes from being a person who wants to deny him or her a pleasure to a parent who is interested in helping the child perform in a better, more mature way.
Your teenager might ask to use the car to run a few errands. You can say, "Yes, as soon as you wash it and if you will stop by the service station and fill it with gas on your way home." This way you're teaching your child responsibility.
Dr. Kuzma also points out that when a child asks, "May I have dessert?" you can say, "Yes, as soon as you have finished your salad or vegetables." This way you are attaching a small reward to a fulfilled responsibility. The child ends up with the temporary pleasure and some long-term benefits.
About Me
- ✿ Eyesha ✿
- Throw me a challenge ... Tell me something's impossible ... Tickle my fancy ... Point me to a problem ... Gimme anything that's spelt as a-d-v-e-n-t-u-r-e ... Then, watch me romance the spotlight! Normal is boring - life is short and there's a lot of good that can be done while having fun, even in the most evil times. There you have it - all about me, in a nutshell! Welcome to my humble abode on the web,My Blog..!!






