Let my country awake!

There is no doubt about the patriotic enthusiasm shown for celebrating of Republic Day and Independence Day every year by bringing up a festive atmosphere during these days. But what people interpret about patriotism is totally different now and depends on the attitude of the evolving generations. Over time, patriotism has taken up different meanings.

As a child, I have noticed that whenever President or any great leaders visited our island, the entire island used to have a festive look with crowd standing alongside the roads, cheering and waving to him.  The enthusiasm, affection and respect shown to those great leaders is definitely lacking now, partly because they themselves are to be blamed! In fact, sports, mainly Football, were one of those areas in which patriotism was an important factor for motivation.

 According to me, patriotism is slowly vanishing and is badly the need of the hour for many reasons.

Ever since Independence, Corruption has been an unending war. We are all aware of the magnitude of this threat because corruption is capable of destroying the very root of Our Economy. To combat this threat, the entire society should become mature and responsible and this is where patriotism plays an important role.

Yet another sad story is about a lot of poor Islanders who virtually live under the open sky in extremely hot or cold conditions and desperately in need of fresh water and other basic requirements.  As of now, there is a long way to go, because Government influence is yet to spread among remote Islanders to give them education and work. They are yet to be given more facilities to connect with the wider world and to be made to enter into the political arena. 

Added to these issues, 2004 tsunami disaster took a heavy toll on our economy.

All said and done, though public services do exist and a lot is being done from the side of the government, what is lacking is the public spirit. We, the public, commercialize everything and we are not ready to take up responsibility for public causes. This raises a doubt whether we do not have as much patriots like olden days. The spirit is missing. It is no use blaming the government always, because we also have the responsibility and commitment to preserve public properties and to extend cooperation to the government.

The politicians are also to be partly blamed for this low ebbing of patriotism because most of them do not show enthusiasm to take up public issues to the Parliament (we can say not a single parliamentarian in our parliament cares). There is nothing good that we can hope, this narrow dimensioned politics do not take us back to the olden days where it comes to patriotism, silence rules!

Now the question is if we have ever utilized our secured freedom fully.  We are still lagging behind in utilizing our traditional resources.  In spite of our being exploited by foreign countries like China and U.S we are still not using our originality and creativity that much. There is still a lot to be done.  Awareness should be created among the younger generation about patriotism and they should be taught the responsibility of spreading our influence in the global market. The scenario of corruption and violence should not be allowed to corrupt our youth.  The importance of patriotism and public spirit should be taught to the evolving generation in order to inculcate human values in them. 

Our Republic Day resolution should be that we should not allow patriotism to become a forgotten spirit in Maldives.

However, on the other side, Republic Day and Independence Day needs to be celebrated as a mark of respect and remembrance of our great leaders and all Maldivians who have toiled till date for the development of our nation. So hats off to them all.

Life

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.
Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.
Is the system going to flatten you out and deny you your humanity, or are you going to be able to make use of the system to the attainment of human purposes?

I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
I think the person who takes a job in order to live – that is to say, for the money – has turned himself into a slave.
Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.

What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea. It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience, something that never has been and never could have been experienced by anyone else.
When people get married because they think it’s a long-time love affair, they’ll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment.
Marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.

When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.
Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.

Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.

Looking Bad

 

 Some people make you feel like you are a bad person. Have you wondered how they manage to do it? I did a little analysis and this is my logic. You look into that person's eye. Just focus on one eye and look right into the pupil. You can see an image of yourself and invariably in such a person's eye, you can see just a black silhouette. Any guesses?
If you think its all because of the bright light behind you, try looking to the eye of a person who makes you feel good. There is a higher chance you don't see that black silhouette of yourself but just a smaller pupil and a twinkle. Did you spot the twinkle, lucky one?

Please. Say it with me – really???

I have a bee in my Veil. A large one and buzzing loudly to ignore. And I need to catch it and “de-sting” it, maybe pull its wings off for good measure.

A couple of afternoons ago, a colleague at work brought up the news on ‘slut-shaming’ protest in the UK. And guess what, it is going to happen in Delhi too! For those of you who haven’t heard about it, it was basically a group of women making the point, publicly, that even if they are sluts, they deserve not to be raped. Not unreasonable right? Or is it?

When Mary brought it up, she said ‘slut-shaming’ with a smirk on her face, like ‘how ridiculous – if you’re a slut then you’re asking for it no?’ I couldn’t be certain; after all, Mary is in her late Twenties, grew up in Male’ and was well educated and working in the field of Teaching – not the type I’d imagine would have such archaic and un-feminist ideas. So I asked.

I was right. Sadly. And she went on to elucidate her argument (I use this term quite lightly) with absolute disdain. According to her, yes it is sad when women are raped, but rapists have a mental problem no? And women should be responsible enough not give these mentally ill people any reason to ‘lose control’ over their impulses. I had to stop her right there –mental problem?? There may be some men who raped a woman because they managed to escape from a mental institution, but does that mean a majority of men who rape women have a mental ‘illness’? Really? We’re going to give them that excuse now? I asked her about women who get gang raped – are all the men involved mentally ill? She really thought so. She really believed it was a mental problem that caused men to rape women. Nothing to do with their lack of respect for a woman, nothing to do with their insane power-trip, nothing to do with their innate violent tendencies, nothing to do with their arrogance and the belief that they can have what they want when they want and from whom they want – mental illness.

So then I asked why it was the woman’s responsibility – why should she be liable for some ass-hole not having the willpower to keep his pants up. Surely that was asking too much of her? How can she control how another human being will behave?? She gave me some more illustrations.   All men look at a woman and their first impression is based on how she looks. Again, obviously, I had to disagree. I said (a) it is too much of a generalization to say that of all men and (b) if we did have to generalize, then surely it was safe to say everyone, man or woman, makes snap judgments based on a person’s appearance, until of course, you get to know the person and revise your opinion thereafter, right? No.

Men do this and decide how seriously to take a woman based on what she is wearing and it is the woman’s fault. After all, would I like it if a woman wore a sexy outfit and tried to break up my marriage or my relationship? God how I loathe this one especially!

No I said. If some sexy woman came along and my marriage broke up I would not blame the sexy woman. She thought I was being too permissive. No Mary, all I mean is that if my husband or boyfriend decided to leave me for another woman, sexy or not, it would be between him and me. NOT the other woman’s responsibility. She decided I couldn’t possibly have understood what she meant and decided to give me another illustration. What if, she said, “a new male friend joins and when he comes to sit with us in this table, I show off my cleavage and get to him to pay more attention to me than anyone else in here, wouldn’t that be unfair – to get his attention by using my physical charms?” I almost laughed.

Again, patiently, I said no, it would say more about him than you. I’d think he was an idiot because he was paying you attention not because you have anything intelligent to say but because you’re showing him some cleavage?!

She refused to acknowledge that I might have a point. She was adamant that it was a woman’s responsibility to dress appropriately and not draw unwanted attention to herself. After all, you (that’s me) can’t deny that men will rape women and it would be safer for a girl if she could “just not add to his temptation.”

I couldn’t deny it. It is a pathetic reality that men will rape women. But I have a different strategy to deal with that. “What’s that?” she asked. Rather than teach my daughter to dress differently, I would teach my son to respect women and teach him some impulse control. Impossible! That was her last word on the topic.

I sat there and thought. As educators we tell our students they are the future of the world. As a history teacher, she tells her students they must learn about the past so they can change the future. That they must ‘be the change they want to see.’

But do we all really believe this change is possible? And if we don’t really really believe it how can we convince the young people in our charge that they can make changes.

Why did she say impossible? Why is it impossible to stop telling our girls to dress differently and start teaching our boys that respect has nothing to do with how a person dresses, that respect has nothing to do with a person’s age or gender. That respect is a basic human courtesy that every individual deserves just by virtue of being a human being.

In the Qur'an, the  Bible, the Bhagwad Gita (probably other religious texts too, but I know these for sure) it is said – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You wouldn’t like it if you got raped and people said it was because you wore too much lipstick right?

Ridiculous? Perhaps it was the stockings and high heels.

Nonsense! Might have been the short skirt.

Rubbish! Must have been the cleavage-showing blouse.

Preposterous! Obviously then, it was the language you used – told you, you shouldn’t have said ‘fuck’ so much.

WHERE DOES THIS END??

And if you don’t like the idea that you might be told these things, why do you have such insane ideas about others?? Or, oh this is the best one, are you really just that naïve/stupid that you think you’re immune to rape because you’re not ‘that kind of girl’??!

Please. Say it with me – really???

So where’s the link?

So far I have thought of sex separately and then climate change separately. A conversation changed this. For a change the two elements combined and a link was seen. All elements that I use to analyse in my head such as sex, sexual rights, expression of one’s sexuality and then the reproductive rights, all fell in line and came into perspective with the topic I usually speak on and work: climate change.

Where is the link? Is there a link?

We all speak of climate change and then over consumption. The continuing growth of human population and the lack of resources. I once had a conversation with someone who said that climate activists failed to see the point and that they need to focus on population growth rather than the carbon emissions. I did not think much of that statement at that point, but now looking back, the person did seem to have had a point.

Do I think we should NOT speak of cutting down our carbon emissions? No I do not believe that to be the case, but it is seems the time is right  that we accept which is equally important to focus on: the ever growing population and the need to provide each one born with resources. This growth and the demands for resources is a cycle that keeps repeating itself. Where there is growth in human kind, there is also the growth of consumption, leading to more production, more emissions and then resulting in a lack of resources.
So well what am I trying to say here? Well simple. When we think of climate change, it is time we think or sexual rights. The time has come to focus on the women’s right to sexual education, to contraception and sexual health rights.

Women today suffer the grave consequences of the lack of awareness. They are those who are greatly affected by the effects of climate change and they seem the ones who are the least privileged of information in many parts of the developing world.

Their wombs are not to be blamed for the growth of population, but a need for awareness for prevention of unwanted pregnancies, but the rights for contraception needs to be noticed as one of the ways that could contribute in combating climate change.

So when you think of cutting down on carbon emissions, don’t you think it is also time to think of contraception?

100 years of Women’s Day, but girls still marginalised

 When we celebrated 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day, Girls throughout the world still face ‘double discrimination’ due to both sex and age.

Women past and present have made enormous economic, political and social achievements, but much more needs to be done to enable millions of girls to reach their true potential, especially in developing countries.
Lack of opportunities and recognition for girls is one of the most pressing issues in international development.

Research has shown that investing in girls and young women has a disproportionately beneficial effect in alleviating poverty - not only for girls themselves but for their families, communities and entire countries. Girls who spend an extra year at school will on average increase their lifetime income by 10 to 20 percent.

Deepali Sood, Director of  Because I am a Girl campaign said: “Women's empowerment begins with girl’s empowerment. Breaking the cycle of gender discrimination requires that we promote and protect the rights of girls. At the same time we also need to equip them with the skills and opportunities they need to transform their lives and those of their communities.”

Simply being born a girl can leave a child at a huge disadvantage in life. In the poorest societies a girl faces greater risk of malnutrition, hunger and disease compared to her brothers. She will have fewer opportunities for an education and career. In many developing countries one out of seven girls marries before age 15.

Girls are often bundled together with women and children, with the result that their particular needs and the challenges they face at home, school and in society are neglected.

Many children suffer from violence, neglect, exploitation, discrimination and exclusion. Many, especially girls, are at risk of physical and sexual abuse at home and in school.

Here are few things that we as responsible citizes can do for child protection 

• Helping to protect child labourers, children with disabilities, children affected by conflict and disaster, street children, and children who have been trafficked or are at risk of being trafficked.
• Improving understanding of children and young people’s rights, and working with governments to strengthen legislation that protects children.
• Supporting communities to raise awareness about child protection, and to campaign against tolerance of sexual abuse, including organising local protection networks, encouraging the reporting of abuse, and monitoring the enforcement of laws guaranteeing protection.
• Working with communities to change attitudes to harmful practices such as female genital cutting and early and forced marriage.

we need to work with marginalised, socially-excluded groups, whose rights are systematically violated, and whose living conditions make them the most vulnerable.

Littil Slet & Buladdy Vore!

“If we accept being talked to any kind of a way, then we are telling ourselves we are not quite worth the best. And if we have the effrontery to talk to anybody with less than courtesy, we tell ourselves and the world we are not very intelligent.”

~Maya Angelou

The first time I was called ‘a slut’ I would have been about 17 years old. And of all the people to hear say it – my mom!

I’d been to a party the previous night and returned later than usual – one o’clock! I almost never had a curfew because all my friends had curfews and so I had to return home when they all did anyway. Quite clever that was of my mom, letting me think she was so liberal. Anyway, one o’clock was late, midnight was the usual deadline and I know most of my friends got into trouble either that night itself or the next morning at breakfast.
This next conversation was my version of ‘getting into trouble for missing curfew’:

Mom: You came home at 1 last night. Howcome?
Me: Mary's bro was on duty and he had the keys, main door was locked so it took ages for her bro to come home n open. So by the time it was quite late.
Mom: So you should have called your father to come pick you up na. We got worried.
Me: Sorry mom, but it was really not a big deal. Anyway, nothing happened.
Mom: Maybe, but the neighbor saw you apparently.
Me: What do you mean?
Mom: She saw you coming home last night! At one!
Me: So?
Mom: What do you mean ‘so’? You don’t care what people think of you? You don’t mind if she thinks you are a ‘littil slet’.

The rest of the conversation isn’t important. My sister, who was also at the breakfast table, and I burst out laughing. For one, the way she said it, with her superb Dhivehi accent was just.. I can’t describe it, but if you have a  friend with Dhivehi accent, ask him or her to say ‘little slut’ so you’ll know what I mean. For another, where the hell was this coming from?? My sweet, uncorrupted, typically-Maldivian mom had said ‘slet’! I’d never even heard her say ‘idiot’!

You may think I’m making this up. But within half an hour my friend Mary called me up to tell me how her (also typically-Maldivian) mom had called her a ‘Buladdy vore’. [Again, ‘vore’ is Dhivehi voicing for ‘whore’.]

Now before you get all outraged at this kind of ‘verbal abuse’ from mothers to their daughters, I must clarify. They were not really calling me and Mary ‘slets’ or ‘vores’ but just warning us that these might be terms others (our nosy neighbours) are using to describe us.

Now these nosy neighbours (how the alliteration) have no clue what My friends or I had been doing with our ‘private’ parts.

But that’s how these words work. If you ask ten people, you get ten different definitions. Is a slut a girl who has sex too early? With too many boys? With girls? (Oh no! Those ‘lesbos’ are the worst kind!) Without proper commitment? Who has too much fun? Who ought to be more discreet about it, or more ashamed? Is a whore just a woman who dresses too ‘obviously’ to attract sexual attention?

What the fuck do these terms mean?? What’s ‘too early’? How many boys is ‘too many boys’? What do they mean by ‘proper commitment’ and ‘too much fun’? How does one dress less ‘obviously’??
These people who called us ‘slets’ and ‘vores’ – I doubt even they know what it means really, but this much they will agree on – a ‘slet’ is NOT THEM. A ‘vore’ is also NOT THEM.

Mary and I both laughed at this nonsense. But it was far from nonsense to her mom and mine. They were hurt and angry. Not at us (well a little bit, we didn’t have to provoke such comments did we?) but our filthy-minded neighbours.

But today, I understand their anger. It stems from fear. Because words like these engender violence. It is words like these that justify the existence of the oxymoron – ‘rape culture’.

What the fuck is rape culture? At first I thought – how insane is this terminology?! Rape and culture should not go together. Of course the reality is that they do.

An eleven year old is raped by 22 men. One of the many articles about this horrifying incident of violence calls them ‘teens and men’ because apparently the youngest ‘participant’ was aged 14 years.

Obama is going on at length about how HE has managed to rid the world of Osama bin Laden and how the killing of Osama bin Laden is a milestone in the fight against terrorism.

What does he mean!!!!!

What happened to that eleven year old CHILD is terrorism! And what’s even more terrifying is how WOMEN in that Cleveland community are worried about ‘the tension this incident has caused’ within their community. They are worried that ‘such an incident, if it isn’t dealt with quickly, will cause a lot of upheaval for ALL those involved.’ They believe this incident should just be ‘over and done with quickly’, after all ‘these boys will have to live with this for the rest of their lives – isn’t that enough?’ Is this not terrorism????

The New York Times that first reported this act of terror felt the need to also make a mention of how much make-up this little girl was wearing. THIS too is terrorism.

All of these are variations on the good ol’ “She was asking for it” bullshit.

And it’s not just the rapists obviously who say this kind of crap. So many people do it. And you don’t even realize how offensive you sound.

Years ago, my sister and I were getting ready to go to a party and she came to my room wearing a fitted, short black dress and asked how I thought she looked. She was also wearing these really high heels and I remember saying to her, “Isn’t that a little bit slutty?” I don’t even know what I really meant then. Was I telling her that if she wore that outfit boys would give her dirty stares – and that would be her fault? Was I telling her that if she wore that outfit boys would think she was ‘easy’ – and the way to not make them think that was to ‘dress differently’???

Both of those are true. They would have given her dirty stares. They would have also flirted her with thinking they’d get invited to her bed that very evening just because she was wearing a short dress. But why should it be her responsibility to dress differently! Why isn’t is the responsibility of these boys and men to grow up and learn some decency and manners!

Milestone. What a fucking milestone.