Just another year!

The mobile is beeping since midnight. Wishes everywhere – Smses, e-mails, cards, diaries, phone calls, and such. Blog post about New Year is the new addition for me this year; for I can see around 10 posts on my dashboard about New Year and the resolutions. Resolutions doing round on Facebook and Twitter too!

People deciding to give up few things and start few things. Like rules, resolutions are meant to be broken too for most of them! Purpose behind those resolutions – no idea. Why to wait for a particular day to decide something? Well I am yet to find out the answer for the same. I guess it is a trend to have a New Year resolution; and I am too old fashioned to understand it!

And the review of my last year – it passed by pretty soon for me; with a lot of things on my plate which i would rather not mention here!

So all you wonderful people out there; wish you a very happy New Year! Hope you all have a wonderful year ahead.

Well what about my new year Resolution? why to waste my thinking powers behind something Im not going to keep.

P.S: I Haven't watch the movie "The Notebook" and I promised myself not to watch it, Never in My life, - This is my New years Resolution Since 2004.. Yayy I'm good at keeping Promises, I guess.. :P

Do what You Feel is Right

Decisions are always so much easier to make when they don’t affect you directly. I had to make a difficult choice recently and after a lot of careful thought I went with what my heart said – something I think I knew from the beginning. Different people gave different advice – some vehemently, some gently. But if there’s one thing I have learnt in life, it is this – always listen to others but eventually do what you feel is right.

Nobody and I mean nobody, not your closest friend or your family, can take your place in life. What this means is that they can never completely feel your happiness, your pain, your confusion, your angst as much as you do. They cannot live for you. They will always be one step removed from the real thing – you. The sooner one realizes this, the easier it becomes to stop relying on others. However much you take opinions about how to run the race, eventually you will be the one running it. That is not to say that the advice doesn’t help or guidance or sympathy or some kind of empathy doesn’t help. Of course it helps. It goes some way in fine-tuning the ideas that are already present in your head. It gives you solace. It shows you a different way of looking at things sometimes.

But the thing to remember is – your life is yours only. You will have to fight your own battles. You should be solely responsible for whatever decisions you make. And there is comfort to be drawn from that. And courage in owning up to it.

Another thing I realized is how you have to figure out what works for you. In other words, one man’s meat may be another man’s poison. What sounds like a great opportunity to one person need not seem that way to another. It is all a question of priorities. And it is important to be sure of one’s priorities in life. There are so many things we compromise upon in life. Too often, it is too easy to get drawn into something that goes against what you once believed in. It is essential to be aware of the non-negotiables. To realize that no matter what, this is something you are not going to give up on. It is important to take a stance and stick to it because otherwise you will fall for anything and everything the world throws at you.

It is important to realize that you don’t need to, and more importantly, can’t, please everybody all the time. It is impossible. This is one of those realizations that are guaranteed to bring about a lot of satisfaction in the long run. It is hard to avoid the temptation to be a crowd-pleaser. And it is also not necessary that you have to rebel against everything. Just learn to live with the fact that everyone may not like you. And that’s cool because you don’t like everyone either.

So… a lot of the heavy stuff today but that’s another side to me.

Office Politics

"There are no friends at  workplace, only Colleagues or co-workers" -  (The best advice I've ever received.)

It’s true that life comes with surprises for which you just have to keep your fingers crossed. But for those things that are predictable, you can always choose your way. After years of stress-less living, stepping into workplace can be quite a transformation to come to terms that you have to take up responsibilities that can tire you out, which you’d rather not think about in your wildest dreams.
And if this is not enough to drain you off, you have these weird and wonderful creatures called colleagues. Colleagues can be a real blessing if they had a little bit of the uncommon thing called common sense

Not having mature work mates can be a major turn off. At workplace, things turn out to be mega competitive because there is money involved. Money and power always invite contest. Not everybody you meet really wants the best to happen to you though they may seem extremely genuine about their intentions.

There is a section of people at workplace who are real pests. They come with a package of three.
1. Plotting ideas to put down the fellow mates to get appraisal.
2. Pretending to be the boss around.
3. Backbiting, one of the oldest forms of weapons used to stain the fellow mates’ impression.
Yes, it is difficult. You just want to run away or kill that blood sucker beside you. No, you can’t because you shouldn’t.

However irritating a colleague is, you just have to deal with it. It’s all about accepting that different things in life need to be handled in a fairly different way.

Having control over oneself is an important trait one should develop while at work place. Keeping yourself occupied in work is a hug tipoff to keep away from colleagues who enjoy wasting your time. People can try to be too sneaky to know what is happening in your life. Never trust a person too much that you give that person a chance to put you in trouble. Keep your fears and strengths within you and only you.

Develop patience especially when it is very difficult which could be the need of the situation. Refrain from discussing personal life with colleagues which could be an interesting subject for gossip. Never be the one who demands attention or throws tantrums occasionally. It is better not be the center of attraction because if you risk it, you will also have to maintain the impression like forever.
If you happen to be the receiver of gossip, ensure that you are only the listener and nothing more to it. Passing around gossip may sound fun but it really isn’t professional and not worth landing your job into risk.

Deal with injustice right away. Remember, your hard work should pay only you, not your fellow mate. Helping a person and letting that person take advantage of your help are two different things.
Dealing with male and female colleagues are always not the same. While being a girl, it is important to retain composure so that you don’t pass the wrong signal to your colleague. Getting emotionally involved should be handled delicately as workplaces can be very strenuous if you’re working with a person with whom terms have been spoilt.

Always be a person who is in charge of his/her emotions. Losing temper in workplaces will only land you in unfavorable situations. Talking politely should be the only weapon to be used at any time inside the office.

Steer away from people who are dominating as much as possible. They could try to take you in their control to get things done. Learn to speak up for yourself where your integrity is questioned.

It is important to realize that it takes all kinds of people to make this world. It is obvious to expect people with different characters and nature. It is vital to build a rapport with all people at workplace without getting involved into office politics.

At the end of the day, it is for money that people are working for. Hence, it is important to do whatever it takes to not to have unguarded situations.

Men don't gossip?

Sometimes a belief created in a lifetime, just tumbles down in a moment and that moment of realization is really like a hard slap in the face. I once believed that "Men don't gossip" the belief that got stronger and stronger because of the men I met in my life.. because of the people I got along with, until one day the devil showed its face.. and God! its not pleasant..

When I say gossips I don’t mean the real information that goes around, that is news.. what I mean is about this stuff someone invents in their head and sets on fire by running it into another person’s ears.. Shall I ask..  if they are so good in spinning the yard and creating stories who not publish a book? Or let me give an easier solution.. start a blog.. and become fictitious.. and stop poking their nose and all other unwanted stuffs into others life.

Right from the olden days we associate gossips to women. So is it unmanly to gossip? Or is there something missing in them that makes them behave so? Of late I am seeing some men who are shameless and gutless that they walk around inventing stories about women who has nothing to do with them.. Women who talk their mind, have always been the target for these gossips. My rational mind does not give me a reason as of why they do this.. nor do I get reply from my emotional half..

A silly casual talk in a group of men like, “she is fast” or “I saw her with that guy yesterday” or more than anything pointing to a girl standing harmlessly at the far end and raising the eye brows and shrinking the nose and nodding head left and right, that little gesture is enough to kill her reputation. I am not saying that every women should care about these filthy talks and sit in a corner and cry.. I am just annoyed at how such men enjoy doing it.. slaying someone’s credibility in a second and spreading it like wildfire.. If any one comes and tells me that

"Say it to a women and it will never remain a secret" or "It is the girls that spread the rumor" then I wouldn’t think twice before swearing.

As long as a human (be it a man or women) has eyes, ears, mouth and a shameless character they can spin a story about anybody anytime.

What concerns me more is, why? why to invent stories? why to spread it actively? Why to call a women whose husband stays oversees with names? Why to think that a widowed or divorced woman an easy catch? why to call a twenty eight + unmarried women as slut or gay? Even if she is one.. why to care about it? Don’t we have handful of responsibilities and dreams and ambitions and life of our own?  Why to spoil it by spoiling others life? Is it really that hard to just mind one’s own business??

Escalation of Commitment - In Love -

Falling in love is such a heady, euphoric feeling. Can anything feel better than the rush of adrenaline that hits you each time you set your eyes upon "the one", the way your heart alternates between racing and skipping a beat, and those tiny explosions of excitement in the pit of your tummy? Rarely does anything else make life seem so beautiful. You're more cheerful, more positive, more energetic, and some studies say that love can even lessen physical pain. Sounds like the perfect  Remedy.

All's great about love, except for one thing. It tends to erode one's ability to think rationally. Often, people get so carried away with the positive rush they're experiencing, that they forget to pay timely heed to red flags. Ignoring these evident warning signs in the initial stages of a relationship can lead to trouble later on.

You might argue that relationships are all about compromise, about give and take. They are. But what if you're the only one giving, and not getting in return? That's when your senses need to alert you, and you need to wake up and move out. Because being in a relationship with someone who is unable or unwilling to offer you fulfillment can really play havoc with your happiness and peace of mind.

There are certain kinds of folks you should steer clear of the minute you find out what they're like. For example, unavailable people who are rarely there for you when it matters (commitment phobes, mama's boys, attached people, extreme workaholics, etc.); manipulative, controlling or abusive people; indecisive and irresponsible people who find it hard to take a stand; habitual liars; promiscuous people; chronic whiners and pessimists; people who lack foresight and good judgment... the list goes on. It is also wise to steer clear of people whose thinking and outlook are quite different from yours; they might be very nice, but you are unlikely to be compatible together.

A well wisher will always advise you keep your eyes wide open so you can spot potentially problematic traits in time, but it is also said that love makes people blind. Thinking rationally when you're overcome with emotions is always easier said than done. Of course, it would be ideal if you could detach yourself and move away the moment you see red flags starting to pop up. But that doesn't usually happen because infatuation erodes logic, and so people find themselves knee deep in a quagmire of negativity and disappointment, unable to make up their minds as to whether to leave or stay.

That's where the concept of "Escalation of Commitment" comes in. A common business management term, it refers to the compulsion to continue investing money, time and resources in a losing proposition, because you've already invested so much in it and all that investment will go to waste if you give up now. So you keep on investing more and more in the hope that the next bit you put in will turn the proposition into a winning one!

Read the definition carefully, does it not strike you that the same concept can also apply to relationships? Have you not seen this happening to so many people in less-than-happy relationships, who are constantly grappling with the big question "Should I stay or should I go?", but are unable to let go because they've already invested so much of their precious time, energy, and emotion in that relationship?

When we spend a considerable amount of time with someone who isn't making us happy, it becomes hard to let go and easy to rationalize the lack of fulfillment. We remain in denial and are afraid to let go, to give up something that we've put so much effort into. It's human nature to not want to waste. We keep thinking that if we invest just a bit more, we can turn the situation around; but if we give up, we end up losing all that we invested. Starting from scratch is a frightening thought; what if we fail again? And that thought makes us hold on and want to try a little more before giving up, which can then turn into a vicious cycle.

Is it wise to keep hoping that a relationship which rarely (if ever) gives you any fulfillment will turn into a happy and loving one someday? How long should one go on hoping? When it comes to something as abstract as love, there are no set rules by which we can live. Unfortunately, the only thing to do is to let go, to realize that some things are beyond your control, because it is extremely difficult to change another person's behavior unless that person is willing to make a conscious effort to do so. And in such chronically un-fulfilling relationships, chances are that the other person already knows that they are not doing you any good, but has shown no signs of wanting to change that even now. Where is the hope then?

Is it not better to be happy and at peace for the balance of your life, as compared to always feeling shortchanged? Sometimes the only thing to do is to cut your losses and move on while you can, because every negative experience takes away a bit of you with it. Letting go won't be easy, but trust me when I say that you will thank yourself for taking a hard decision in good time. Remember the saying "today's pain is tomorrow's gain"?

Nevertheless, moving on is always easier said than done. In spite of realizing that it is the sensible thing to do, many people still stay on in a losing situation in the hope of making things better, letting life pass them by.

It does seem then, that for some things, experience is probably the only (and the toughest) teacher!

Crazy Little thing Called ....

What is the one thing that is hardest to get, easiest to lose, and is usually never retrieved whole once lost? That which is highly coveted by all but impossible to ask for, buy, steal or obtain by force; which can only be given to you by someone when he or she decides you are deserving enough.

How many times have you had the phrase "trust me" thrown at you, without reason or logic? Trust is a tricky little thing; it takes a while to build and mere moments to destroy. Even so, people are quick to use the word and ask others for it, without realizing what it implies. They ask others to trust them, but when are they going to understand that one cannot simply demand it?
Asking for trust is pointless, you can only get it through consistent behavior in the right direction, over time. It's makes no sense to ask someone to trust you when your actions prove otherwise, because they simply won't be able to. You will have to prove yourself worthy first.

What's more, once you win somebody's trust, you can't take it for granted. You will have to be consistently honest with that person in order to keep it alive. This calls for some effort on your part. It takes only a single instance to destroy trust, one wrong move and it's gone. And after that, even if you try hard to get it back, it is unlikely to ever be the same again. You can liken it to a broken mirror; you may stick the pieces back together, but the cracks will never go.

Of course, this doesn't mean we should start eyeing everyone we come across with suspicion, but it's wise to not get carried away or wear horse-blinders when it comes to judging others. It isn't always possible to immediately classify people into either of the two subsets "innocent until proven guilty" or "guilty until proven innocent", but we can start by giving them the benefit of doubt while keeping our wits about us. Giving people a chance to prove their good intentions is the right thing to do; letting them abuse that chance is not.

Now there are going to be be a fair number of people who will abuse that chance, but still demand that you trust them. So the next time one of them insists that you learn to trust, look them straight in the eye and insist that they first earn it!

Sweet and simple... or is it?

Just Suicide!

Your life sucks? The one you love is fucking someone else? You hate yourself? Your job sucks? Your boss is a Doof and your co-workers are back-stabbing motherfuckers? The whole world is out to get you?

Chill.

We have just the thing you need, fates have guided you to the right blog post, because what you need is a Suicide!

Yes!

Kill Yourself! but [[[How?]]] you ask. The world is full of un-imaginative idiots who have made suicide look like something bad and idiotic, it’s time you took control of your life and the way it should end.It's time You took suicide to a higher level. No stupid cutting, jumping, ropes, guns or poisons involved, this is suicide like you have never heard before. This is what imagination does to you.

Let's not delay the inevitable and move on to the three top slow and steady FUBAR ways to cash in your chips, go west to meet the maker! [why slow and steady you ask? cuz that makes sure you win the race ;)]

Fall In Love--- Love, as they say, is the slowest form of suicide. Once in it, you ARE going to DIE. The road to Happily Never After is littered with evil intentions and broken hearts, you walk a mile in a three legged race of love and the road forks. Sweet. Either you succeed and have a "happy ending" [Ending is the keyword here] or you fail and die bit by bit inside. Very interesting and novel way to die, of course half the world is doing it without even realizing it. That is what makes this fun.

Chase a Dream-- Dreams are nothing but remains of a bad night's sleep. If you go chasing dreams on mountains of hope, your dreams will turn around and bite you in the face. Then they will jump off the mountain and start flying, while your face will be headed on a super-fast Hello to Mr Ground of Reality. That can break a man or a woman, from inside and when you die there, no glue or doctor can join you back again. Chasing dreams is a risky method and a complex one, slow and simple, but sure.

Time Travel!- Now, just as you read time travel, 95% of you would get thinking on the Grandfather lines. Well, get original, grab a time machine from the nearby supermarket and zip back to tomorrow and meet yourself. BOOM the universe will explode, tearing apart the trousers of time and there! the most original suicide in the history of the world. Literally!

[and as a bonus method]

Read A Story A Day - Congrats, you are already on your way to the pearly gates pits of hell. Word by word these sentences will crawl in your brain through your eyes and push your brain through your ears till there is no more space left in your head for anything but this fucked up blog. A slow, and a very painful death.

Yup that's all folks! But [there is always a but] I shall leave you with a poem by the great Dorothy Parker!

"Razors pain you, rivers are damp,
Acid stains you, drugs cause cramp,
Guns aren't lawful, nooses give,
Gas smells awful, you might as well live"

-=-=-=-

Suicide is Self Expression. Hope it all helps.