The Elephant Butt

You ! Yes you! Bending over the pool table trying to get the perfect shot. Your jeans are sliding down your butt cheeks. Oh! You meant them to be that way? Oh that is fashion and it is called Baggy Jeans? 

Well Sir, I never knew that by fashion you meant looking like an anorexic lad with no Iliac crest or for that matter no hip bone. My love, you and your other low waist baggy jeans clad dorks are a topic of discussion between me and my girls. Now before you get excited about a couple of chicks looking at you and commenting while you bend down trying to get a perfect snooker shot, let me tell you that we have a bet going on here. We are betting on how low will you let your bag called jeans fall, before you get your senses back and pull them up? Sometimes I really think, they might touch your knees. You never fail to surprise me with our outrageous fashion sense!

   

Tell me is that floral underwear you are wearing inside, good enough to be flaunted? If you think they are awesome, why not be the next superman, eh love? Belts are cheap actually and you get them even in the shop you bought those amazing low-butt jeans from. If you cannot afford it, please ask me because I am a generous young lady who can definitely spare some bucks for your pathetic little condition.

Baby, did you poop in your pants? Or are you constantly horny and fighting an erection that you want that much space down there? Honey butt crack is not sexy I tell you and no matter how sexy you are, butt crack show will always be treated with pure disgust.

   

The other day my lovely little cousin sister asked me if you are suffering from severe Diarrhea. She thinks you are wearing diapers underneath. Those Pampers and Huggies kind of diapers. I don’t wish to clear off her doubt by asking you to do a strip show because one day that poor piece of denim will naturally slip off and prove her wrong.

Mister, you are leaving a hypnotizing effect on my little brother. He has started to show off his cartoon underwear by wearing his school pants real low. He even got scolded by his English teacher for that. 

   

Ok! You want to show off your underwear, at-least wear a branded one. What? You already are? Baby, I don’t think POMA, JOCKAY, REEBUK qualify as brands. Whom are you kidding? You say they are comfortable? Then why do you pull them up in a gap of minutes? And if you are looking for space and comfort, try the Mundu way of comfort. You will even get some air down there.

Please baby, pull the pants up before they catch you and put you behind the bars. They might mistake you to be a flasher. The wind has been kind to you till now but who knows, one strong breeze and your manhood might be out for the public to judge. 

   

I don’t mind baggy jeans as long as they don’t show me your butt crack. This post isn’t for you if your jeans are low waist and not low butt. This post is not directed towards you if you keep your underwear hidden and not trying desperately to flaunt your nonexistent flat butt.

  

   

 Also if you can’t afford a belt, get a rope!

Part One: In Love!

Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable, It opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, You build  up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person wanders in to your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They dint ask for it. They did something dumb one day like, kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages it gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves  you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like 'May be we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. Its a soul-hurt. A real-gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I HATE LOVE.

P.S: My very first blog post of the year 2013, Which is about Love.. Why? Well, this is a real story,  I'm a victim of Love!

I know some of you will say 'Aisha your so wrong about this', yeah most of you will say so.. but hey whats wrong in accepting  the fact that it hurts more than the happiness it brings in to your life? I know its sweet as long as it lasts, but how long does this lasts? You may also say that its because i haven't found the right person yet! The hell does this 'Right person' Mean? How on the earth anyone knows or identify this 'Right person' when you meet them? do we need to sleep with them or live with them to know this is the 'Right person'? Where on the earth we find this 'Right person?' Oh a lot of people already found their 'Right person' so I need to wait and have patience to for this one to come along?

P.P.S: I'm no desperate to meet the 'Right person' here, not that i wrote this because i desperately need someone in life whom i can rely on.  But the truth is people around me, family and friends lets say, wants me to get involve in this shit. Its me who thinks i dint need to meet other peoples expectations but what the fuck? Evey time i come home or meet my friends they ask me this stupid question, which is really annoying, sometimes i just want to go and suicide, sounds funny i know, but i really am tired of this bullshit mom! I know your not reading this but I remember telling you this all the time, I'm tired of trying to convince you that i can live on my own, I'm not afraid to live alone, I'm not scared that  I'll die alone, without a child or a husband who will take care of me in my old age or when I'm sick.  If i have to face this world alone, ill do it, and I can do it.. but please dint ask me to break my heart and make my self weaker by falling in Love.. Its just Not Worth It.. No One can understand my fear, no one can understand my problems, Its only me who can Understand me and I Like to keep it that way.. and if you still don't trust me, Go on, find a person whom you can trust and marry me off.. So that one day i can put the blame on you.. :P
Story to be continued...

Just another year!

The mobile is beeping since midnight. Wishes everywhere – Smses, e-mails, cards, diaries, phone calls, and such. Blog post about New Year is the new addition for me this year; for I can see around 10 posts on my dashboard about New Year and the resolutions. Resolutions doing round on Facebook and Twitter too!

People deciding to give up few things and start few things. Like rules, resolutions are meant to be broken too for most of them! Purpose behind those resolutions – no idea. Why to wait for a particular day to decide something? Well I am yet to find out the answer for the same. I guess it is a trend to have a New Year resolution; and I am too old fashioned to understand it!

And the review of my last year – it passed by pretty soon for me; with a lot of things on my plate which i would rather not mention here!

So all you wonderful people out there; wish you a very happy New Year! Hope you all have a wonderful year ahead.

Well what about my new year Resolution? why to waste my thinking powers behind something Im not going to keep.

P.S: I Haven't watch the movie "The Notebook" and I promised myself not to watch it, Never in My life, - This is my New years Resolution Since 2004.. Yayy I'm good at keeping Promises, I guess.. :P

Do what You Feel is Right

Decisions are always so much easier to make when they don’t affect you directly. I had to make a difficult choice recently and after a lot of careful thought I went with what my heart said – something I think I knew from the beginning. Different people gave different advice – some vehemently, some gently. But if there’s one thing I have learnt in life, it is this – always listen to others but eventually do what you feel is right.

Nobody and I mean nobody, not your closest friend or your family, can take your place in life. What this means is that they can never completely feel your happiness, your pain, your confusion, your angst as much as you do. They cannot live for you. They will always be one step removed from the real thing – you. The sooner one realizes this, the easier it becomes to stop relying on others. However much you take opinions about how to run the race, eventually you will be the one running it. That is not to say that the advice doesn’t help or guidance or sympathy or some kind of empathy doesn’t help. Of course it helps. It goes some way in fine-tuning the ideas that are already present in your head. It gives you solace. It shows you a different way of looking at things sometimes.

But the thing to remember is – your life is yours only. You will have to fight your own battles. You should be solely responsible for whatever decisions you make. And there is comfort to be drawn from that. And courage in owning up to it.

Another thing I realized is how you have to figure out what works for you. In other words, one man’s meat may be another man’s poison. What sounds like a great opportunity to one person need not seem that way to another. It is all a question of priorities. And it is important to be sure of one’s priorities in life. There are so many things we compromise upon in life. Too often, it is too easy to get drawn into something that goes against what you once believed in. It is essential to be aware of the non-negotiables. To realize that no matter what, this is something you are not going to give up on. It is important to take a stance and stick to it because otherwise you will fall for anything and everything the world throws at you.

It is important to realize that you don’t need to, and more importantly, can’t, please everybody all the time. It is impossible. This is one of those realizations that are guaranteed to bring about a lot of satisfaction in the long run. It is hard to avoid the temptation to be a crowd-pleaser. And it is also not necessary that you have to rebel against everything. Just learn to live with the fact that everyone may not like you. And that’s cool because you don’t like everyone either.

So… a lot of the heavy stuff today but that’s another side to me.

Office Politics

"There are no friends at  workplace, only Colleagues or co-workers" -  (The best advice I've ever received.)

It’s true that life comes with surprises for which you just have to keep your fingers crossed. But for those things that are predictable, you can always choose your way. After years of stress-less living, stepping into workplace can be quite a transformation to come to terms that you have to take up responsibilities that can tire you out, which you’d rather not think about in your wildest dreams.
And if this is not enough to drain you off, you have these weird and wonderful creatures called colleagues. Colleagues can be a real blessing if they had a little bit of the uncommon thing called common sense

Not having mature work mates can be a major turn off. At workplace, things turn out to be mega competitive because there is money involved. Money and power always invite contest. Not everybody you meet really wants the best to happen to you though they may seem extremely genuine about their intentions.

There is a section of people at workplace who are real pests. They come with a package of three.
1. Plotting ideas to put down the fellow mates to get appraisal.
2. Pretending to be the boss around.
3. Backbiting, one of the oldest forms of weapons used to stain the fellow mates’ impression.
Yes, it is difficult. You just want to run away or kill that blood sucker beside you. No, you can’t because you shouldn’t.

However irritating a colleague is, you just have to deal with it. It’s all about accepting that different things in life need to be handled in a fairly different way.

Having control over oneself is an important trait one should develop while at work place. Keeping yourself occupied in work is a hug tipoff to keep away from colleagues who enjoy wasting your time. People can try to be too sneaky to know what is happening in your life. Never trust a person too much that you give that person a chance to put you in trouble. Keep your fears and strengths within you and only you.

Develop patience especially when it is very difficult which could be the need of the situation. Refrain from discussing personal life with colleagues which could be an interesting subject for gossip. Never be the one who demands attention or throws tantrums occasionally. It is better not be the center of attraction because if you risk it, you will also have to maintain the impression like forever.
If you happen to be the receiver of gossip, ensure that you are only the listener and nothing more to it. Passing around gossip may sound fun but it really isn’t professional and not worth landing your job into risk.

Deal with injustice right away. Remember, your hard work should pay only you, not your fellow mate. Helping a person and letting that person take advantage of your help are two different things.
Dealing with male and female colleagues are always not the same. While being a girl, it is important to retain composure so that you don’t pass the wrong signal to your colleague. Getting emotionally involved should be handled delicately as workplaces can be very strenuous if you’re working with a person with whom terms have been spoilt.

Always be a person who is in charge of his/her emotions. Losing temper in workplaces will only land you in unfavorable situations. Talking politely should be the only weapon to be used at any time inside the office.

Steer away from people who are dominating as much as possible. They could try to take you in their control to get things done. Learn to speak up for yourself where your integrity is questioned.

It is important to realize that it takes all kinds of people to make this world. It is obvious to expect people with different characters and nature. It is vital to build a rapport with all people at workplace without getting involved into office politics.

At the end of the day, it is for money that people are working for. Hence, it is important to do whatever it takes to not to have unguarded situations.

Men don't gossip?

Sometimes a belief created in a lifetime, just tumbles down in a moment and that moment of realization is really like a hard slap in the face. I once believed that "Men don't gossip" the belief that got stronger and stronger because of the men I met in my life.. because of the people I got along with, until one day the devil showed its face.. and God! its not pleasant..

When I say gossips I don’t mean the real information that goes around, that is news.. what I mean is about this stuff someone invents in their head and sets on fire by running it into another person’s ears.. Shall I ask..  if they are so good in spinning the yard and creating stories who not publish a book? Or let me give an easier solution.. start a blog.. and become fictitious.. and stop poking their nose and all other unwanted stuffs into others life.

Right from the olden days we associate gossips to women. So is it unmanly to gossip? Or is there something missing in them that makes them behave so? Of late I am seeing some men who are shameless and gutless that they walk around inventing stories about women who has nothing to do with them.. Women who talk their mind, have always been the target for these gossips. My rational mind does not give me a reason as of why they do this.. nor do I get reply from my emotional half..

A silly casual talk in a group of men like, “she is fast” or “I saw her with that guy yesterday” or more than anything pointing to a girl standing harmlessly at the far end and raising the eye brows and shrinking the nose and nodding head left and right, that little gesture is enough to kill her reputation. I am not saying that every women should care about these filthy talks and sit in a corner and cry.. I am just annoyed at how such men enjoy doing it.. slaying someone’s credibility in a second and spreading it like wildfire.. If any one comes and tells me that

"Say it to a women and it will never remain a secret" or "It is the girls that spread the rumor" then I wouldn’t think twice before swearing.

As long as a human (be it a man or women) has eyes, ears, mouth and a shameless character they can spin a story about anybody anytime.

What concerns me more is, why? why to invent stories? why to spread it actively? Why to call a women whose husband stays oversees with names? Why to think that a widowed or divorced woman an easy catch? why to call a twenty eight + unmarried women as slut or gay? Even if she is one.. why to care about it? Don’t we have handful of responsibilities and dreams and ambitions and life of our own?  Why to spoil it by spoiling others life? Is it really that hard to just mind one’s own business??

Escalation of Commitment - In Love -

Falling in love is such a heady, euphoric feeling. Can anything feel better than the rush of adrenaline that hits you each time you set your eyes upon "the one", the way your heart alternates between racing and skipping a beat, and those tiny explosions of excitement in the pit of your tummy? Rarely does anything else make life seem so beautiful. You're more cheerful, more positive, more energetic, and some studies say that love can even lessen physical pain. Sounds like the perfect  Remedy.

All's great about love, except for one thing. It tends to erode one's ability to think rationally. Often, people get so carried away with the positive rush they're experiencing, that they forget to pay timely heed to red flags. Ignoring these evident warning signs in the initial stages of a relationship can lead to trouble later on.

You might argue that relationships are all about compromise, about give and take. They are. But what if you're the only one giving, and not getting in return? That's when your senses need to alert you, and you need to wake up and move out. Because being in a relationship with someone who is unable or unwilling to offer you fulfillment can really play havoc with your happiness and peace of mind.

There are certain kinds of folks you should steer clear of the minute you find out what they're like. For example, unavailable people who are rarely there for you when it matters (commitment phobes, mama's boys, attached people, extreme workaholics, etc.); manipulative, controlling or abusive people; indecisive and irresponsible people who find it hard to take a stand; habitual liars; promiscuous people; chronic whiners and pessimists; people who lack foresight and good judgment... the list goes on. It is also wise to steer clear of people whose thinking and outlook are quite different from yours; they might be very nice, but you are unlikely to be compatible together.

A well wisher will always advise you keep your eyes wide open so you can spot potentially problematic traits in time, but it is also said that love makes people blind. Thinking rationally when you're overcome with emotions is always easier said than done. Of course, it would be ideal if you could detach yourself and move away the moment you see red flags starting to pop up. But that doesn't usually happen because infatuation erodes logic, and so people find themselves knee deep in a quagmire of negativity and disappointment, unable to make up their minds as to whether to leave or stay.

That's where the concept of "Escalation of Commitment" comes in. A common business management term, it refers to the compulsion to continue investing money, time and resources in a losing proposition, because you've already invested so much in it and all that investment will go to waste if you give up now. So you keep on investing more and more in the hope that the next bit you put in will turn the proposition into a winning one!

Read the definition carefully, does it not strike you that the same concept can also apply to relationships? Have you not seen this happening to so many people in less-than-happy relationships, who are constantly grappling with the big question "Should I stay or should I go?", but are unable to let go because they've already invested so much of their precious time, energy, and emotion in that relationship?

When we spend a considerable amount of time with someone who isn't making us happy, it becomes hard to let go and easy to rationalize the lack of fulfillment. We remain in denial and are afraid to let go, to give up something that we've put so much effort into. It's human nature to not want to waste. We keep thinking that if we invest just a bit more, we can turn the situation around; but if we give up, we end up losing all that we invested. Starting from scratch is a frightening thought; what if we fail again? And that thought makes us hold on and want to try a little more before giving up, which can then turn into a vicious cycle.

Is it wise to keep hoping that a relationship which rarely (if ever) gives you any fulfillment will turn into a happy and loving one someday? How long should one go on hoping? When it comes to something as abstract as love, there are no set rules by which we can live. Unfortunately, the only thing to do is to let go, to realize that some things are beyond your control, because it is extremely difficult to change another person's behavior unless that person is willing to make a conscious effort to do so. And in such chronically un-fulfilling relationships, chances are that the other person already knows that they are not doing you any good, but has shown no signs of wanting to change that even now. Where is the hope then?

Is it not better to be happy and at peace for the balance of your life, as compared to always feeling shortchanged? Sometimes the only thing to do is to cut your losses and move on while you can, because every negative experience takes away a bit of you with it. Letting go won't be easy, but trust me when I say that you will thank yourself for taking a hard decision in good time. Remember the saying "today's pain is tomorrow's gain"?

Nevertheless, moving on is always easier said than done. In spite of realizing that it is the sensible thing to do, many people still stay on in a losing situation in the hope of making things better, letting life pass them by.

It does seem then, that for some things, experience is probably the only (and the toughest) teacher!