There's no feeling that even gets close to what you feel when you're at war with yourself..

God, sometimes I just wish I could get away from everything.

It feels like there is no one to talk to. I used to think as long as I could talk to you, I would be alright. But is it just me or are there just too many differences now? There's so much distance. We can't even talk to each other, we can't even connect. Where does that leave us then?


I wish even one person in my life got it. The fact that sometimes I was alone and maybe I needed help and I needed someone to be there for me and maybe realize there was so much I wasn't saying.

But everyone just wants what they want and they've all got their own agendas and their own needs to fulfill  and hey, why should I expect otherwise of anyone? Even you? I love you all and I give you my heart and myself but in the end there is sometimes this ugly fact to face, that I might as well have tossed it all out the goddamn window, for all the good it's done me.

To get a dream of a life again
A vision of the start and the end
But all the choirs in my head sang no...

An Open Letter..

Dear Eve-teaser,

I understand breasts are beautiful things. I also agree that they call out to you. Or so you imagine. But what sexual gratification do you derive from brushing your hand across some random woman's, in the evening traffic rush or on the road walking? Is that a public property? How can you? And dare you?

Besides the fact that the random woman has already had the worst day, and is trying to get past all that, get home and get ready for a harder day tomorrow, you decide that it wasn't enough. And do what you do.

The next time around, she will find you and skin you. Blind you with her finger (which you rightfully deserves). Scream into your eardrums, the most unspeakable of adjectives about your mother and your sister. Mark her words.

You moronic Fucktard. Mark her words.

Best regards
Random Woman

I Did Not Quit..

It's the online social networking that gets you. Between updating my Facebook status, tweeting, and instagram-ing, I forgot what it was like to truly write; to pour my soul out on a piece of paper, or a blog. I was so caught up in letting everyone know every thought in my head every two seconds, that when it came time to write something meaningful, something with substance, I was totally blank.
So yesterday I deactivated my FB account and I stopped tweeting (Not that i stopped for like more dan an Hour, but more like yeah let it be hehe), and all day I've been itching to write. Listening to The Lumineers, making steak and chocolate lava cake, and drafting houses did little to curb my enthusiasm to start typing something, anything, here.

This post isn't much to read. It's me testing my theory of internet socializing taking over a person's brain. And I guess it hold true, at least for me. So, expect more. I'm excited!

Unspoken - A Tribute to Love

The world is bursting with ‘words of wisdom’ when it comes to love and matters of the heart. Little pearls and gems that we read in passing and think to ourselves “Oh, I totally understand that!”. One thing I’ve found is that there are always times when you simply cannot find the words you want to express everything that is in your heart.

So many of the emotions we experience in a relationship go so deep and incorporate so many elements and experiences of love that simple words are not enough. It can be frustrating when someone asks “Do you really love me?”; the flood of adoration that fills you simply explodes, yet catches in your throat. The right words just don’t come, and could never be enough. That is the very moment when when all that is unspoken can been seen clearly in your eyes, and in the small yet significant things we do for each other.

And yet more practically (and at no better time of year than now!) there is another kind of ‘unspoken love’. The love you have held secretly and securely in your heart for so long and never revealed. Wonderful words left unsaid to someone significant that, if uttered, may just change your life and move all horizons and boundaries.

If the experience of sharing these thoughts has given me anything, it is the knowledge that saying how you feel about life and love is a wonderful thing. This Valentines Day, find your courage and don’t leave those things that fill your heart unspoken. If you know who holds your heart, give it to them without reservation. It is the beginning of an unknown future you may just enjoy for the rest of your life. or else Regret not saying it out loud for the rest of your life..

The Elephant Butt

You ! Yes you! Bending over the pool table trying to get the perfect shot. Your jeans are sliding down your butt cheeks. Oh! You meant them to be that way? Oh that is fashion and it is called Baggy Jeans? 

Well Sir, I never knew that by fashion you meant looking like an anorexic lad with no Iliac crest or for that matter no hip bone. My love, you and your other low waist baggy jeans clad dorks are a topic of discussion between me and my girls. Now before you get excited about a couple of chicks looking at you and commenting while you bend down trying to get a perfect snooker shot, let me tell you that we have a bet going on here. We are betting on how low will you let your bag called jeans fall, before you get your senses back and pull them up? Sometimes I really think, they might touch your knees. You never fail to surprise me with our outrageous fashion sense!

   

Tell me is that floral underwear you are wearing inside, good enough to be flaunted? If you think they are awesome, why not be the next superman, eh love? Belts are cheap actually and you get them even in the shop you bought those amazing low-butt jeans from. If you cannot afford it, please ask me because I am a generous young lady who can definitely spare some bucks for your pathetic little condition.

Baby, did you poop in your pants? Or are you constantly horny and fighting an erection that you want that much space down there? Honey butt crack is not sexy I tell you and no matter how sexy you are, butt crack show will always be treated with pure disgust.

   

The other day my lovely little cousin sister asked me if you are suffering from severe Diarrhea. She thinks you are wearing diapers underneath. Those Pampers and Huggies kind of diapers. I don’t wish to clear off her doubt by asking you to do a strip show because one day that poor piece of denim will naturally slip off and prove her wrong.

Mister, you are leaving a hypnotizing effect on my little brother. He has started to show off his cartoon underwear by wearing his school pants real low. He even got scolded by his English teacher for that. 

   

Ok! You want to show off your underwear, at-least wear a branded one. What? You already are? Baby, I don’t think POMA, JOCKAY, REEBUK qualify as brands. Whom are you kidding? You say they are comfortable? Then why do you pull them up in a gap of minutes? And if you are looking for space and comfort, try the Mundu way of comfort. You will even get some air down there.

Please baby, pull the pants up before they catch you and put you behind the bars. They might mistake you to be a flasher. The wind has been kind to you till now but who knows, one strong breeze and your manhood might be out for the public to judge. 

   

I don’t mind baggy jeans as long as they don’t show me your butt crack. This post isn’t for you if your jeans are low waist and not low butt. This post is not directed towards you if you keep your underwear hidden and not trying desperately to flaunt your nonexistent flat butt.

  

   

 Also if you can’t afford a belt, get a rope!

Part One: In Love!

Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable, It opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, You build  up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person wanders in to your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They dint ask for it. They did something dumb one day like, kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages it gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves  you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like 'May be we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. Its a soul-hurt. A real-gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I HATE LOVE.

P.S: My very first blog post of the year 2013, Which is about Love.. Why? Well, this is a real story,  I'm a victim of Love!

I know some of you will say 'Aisha your so wrong about this', yeah most of you will say so.. but hey whats wrong in accepting  the fact that it hurts more than the happiness it brings in to your life? I know its sweet as long as it lasts, but how long does this lasts? You may also say that its because i haven't found the right person yet! The hell does this 'Right person' Mean? How on the earth anyone knows or identify this 'Right person' when you meet them? do we need to sleep with them or live with them to know this is the 'Right person'? Where on the earth we find this 'Right person?' Oh a lot of people already found their 'Right person' so I need to wait and have patience to for this one to come along?

P.P.S: I'm no desperate to meet the 'Right person' here, not that i wrote this because i desperately need someone in life whom i can rely on.  But the truth is people around me, family and friends lets say, wants me to get involve in this shit. Its me who thinks i dint need to meet other peoples expectations but what the fuck? Evey time i come home or meet my friends they ask me this stupid question, which is really annoying, sometimes i just want to go and suicide, sounds funny i know, but i really am tired of this bullshit mom! I know your not reading this but I remember telling you this all the time, I'm tired of trying to convince you that i can live on my own, I'm not afraid to live alone, I'm not scared that  I'll die alone, without a child or a husband who will take care of me in my old age or when I'm sick.  If i have to face this world alone, ill do it, and I can do it.. but please dint ask me to break my heart and make my self weaker by falling in Love.. Its just Not Worth It.. No One can understand my fear, no one can understand my problems, Its only me who can Understand me and I Like to keep it that way.. and if you still don't trust me, Go on, find a person whom you can trust and marry me off.. So that one day i can put the blame on you.. :P
Story to be continued...

Just another year!

The mobile is beeping since midnight. Wishes everywhere – Smses, e-mails, cards, diaries, phone calls, and such. Blog post about New Year is the new addition for me this year; for I can see around 10 posts on my dashboard about New Year and the resolutions. Resolutions doing round on Facebook and Twitter too!

People deciding to give up few things and start few things. Like rules, resolutions are meant to be broken too for most of them! Purpose behind those resolutions – no idea. Why to wait for a particular day to decide something? Well I am yet to find out the answer for the same. I guess it is a trend to have a New Year resolution; and I am too old fashioned to understand it!

And the review of my last year – it passed by pretty soon for me; with a lot of things on my plate which i would rather not mention here!

So all you wonderful people out there; wish you a very happy New Year! Hope you all have a wonderful year ahead.

Well what about my new year Resolution? why to waste my thinking powers behind something Im not going to keep.

P.S: I Haven't watch the movie "The Notebook" and I promised myself not to watch it, Never in My life, - This is my New years Resolution Since 2004.. Yayy I'm good at keeping Promises, I guess.. :P